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I have identified the following rules to change the approach:1. How fun is it to hang out with someone who only puts themselves down?

In fact, I'd been going about being single all wrong.

When I started seeing my husband, aka the first guy I wasn't embarrassed to tell my therapist about, I was gobsmacked to realize how much I hadn't known about dating before then.

They were too emotionally entrenched in the experience and could not see how they were creating some of the dynamics. You will probably see a difference in how people interact with you.2.

I myself was a victim of this until I recognized my part in this process and then I began dating and eventually married a man who treats me the way I deserve. Let go of the self defeating thoughts holding you back.

Hang out with who you want to hang out with, do what you want to do, and don't feel obligated to do anything or see anyone you’re just not that into. And rather than mope about the ending of one chapter of my life or try to squeeze in as many dates as possible, I reveled in the new life I was creating for myself.