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It may sound like an unpleasant niche website for a handful of amoral people to whom wedding vows never meant very much.But it claims to have more than 100,000 members in the UK.Rising above misinformation and moralizing, Lisa Wade offers the definitive account of this new sexual culture and demonstrates that the truth is both more heartening and more harrowing than we thought.

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But in the modern world, in which the internet has become a vehicle for all manner of impropriety, she regards this kind of behaviour as perfectly acceptable.

We have encountered one another via an internet dating service established for the sole purpose of enabling married people to commit adultery.

She groups them into “abstainers,” “dabblers,” “strivers,” and “enthusiasts.” Both the media and the students themselves overestimate how much sex is happening on campus, and this leaves those who aren’t having sex (intentionally or not) feeling left out.

The price of the perception, Wade notes, is high: the entrenchment of gender stereotypes, insistent heterocentrism, punishing competition among women for male approval, and the prevalence of sexual violence.

A revelatory account of the new culture of sex that has come to dominate the American college experience. Yet the drunken encounter we always hear about tells only a fraction of the story.